The Question...

At one point or another, I think everyone asks themselves the very same question plaguing mankind since the very beginning of creation.  Within this question, there are many varying answers and degrees of honesty.  I don’t believe that the answer(s) found within this question are purely black and white, the shades of grey are so vast and varied it could be a reversed rainbow, of sorts.  I think, even if the world were devoid of color, the varying degrees of differences would still find a way to come shining through and become an obvious display of disarray.

Roll your tongues back into your mouths, boys, you rabble rousers!   I’m not talking about the “What kind of porn should we watch tonight?” question.  Though, I do think the argument between “tentacle” versus “midget” just might be valid.  How would you measure them up?  I mean, there are rather endearing qualities to both.   I’m just not sure which would pull a head, if one could really get a leg up; it’d be a tough spread. 

It always amazes me the depths of; well, I wouldn’t necessarily call it depravity but maybe self-depreciation or, in an extreme measure, sadism.   You can label it whatever you deem appropriate, however, the idealism is the same; the depths humanity will go for amusement and entertainment, for themselves or others, is unsurpassed by any other category.  I never understood the necessity to make oneself into a complete jackass, or worse, to achieve this very common goal.

What I am referring to is the question of what one really and truly wants.  Money?  Love?  Success?  Lust?  Fame?  Desire?  Family?  Boats?  Hoes?  Mansions?  I could continue the list, it’d take days or potentially longer to contain all the possible wants a person could have; it is as endless and limitless as this universe.  If you made a list today of what you perceive to want, in a year, would it be the same? What about 5 years?  Or even 10 years?  Do you think it’d alter, in some way, from the original?  If it did, does that mean you didn’t really want those things to begin with and they could, in fact, be considered superfluous?  And if that were the case, would that mean you knew what you really wanted; or would it merely be what you think you want?

The answer(s) are never easy to come by and rarely what one truly wishes to hear, but the answers are there.  I shall leave you to ponder this, as I will be pondering the same thing myself…

Randomness has stuck...

I don’t particularly find myself procrastinating on purpose, mind you.  I think it’s more on an unconscious level to put off the unknown.  I see this blog as a temporary experiment and I am unsure of the outcome.  I don’t really like putting my feet forward into what I consider to be quicksand, much like how I see this blog, as we all know; the harder you struggle in quicksand, the faster you sink.  I’m not fond of failures but I suppose this leads me back into the precipice you can’t succeed if you don’t try.  After all, isn’t success a failed failure?

It appears my ordinary life has taken to a change in direction; whether this is permanent or only temporary, I am unsure of at this juncture.   I have started in a new-ish direction and find myself meandering slowly down it, rather than running full sprint at it.  The proverbial dragging of one’s feet is done in more ways than one; ironic, isn’t it?  It’s not necessarily procrastination, just a put off of the inevitable.  The problem with things, not just the inevitable; is that they have a funny way of catching up to you when you least expect it, when you least want it and in ways you never even considered.

Life has a funny way of attaching its own ball and chain, although; in some cases, it might as well be a choker collar and a retracting leash.  I think life finds it amusing to let us run so far towards something we want, only to press a button to find us yanked backwards, and potentially, slam our asses to the ground while we lay there gasping for breath.  I can’t help but think that the amusement is endless because we are the definition of insanity; doing the same repetitious action and expecting different results.  However, I am not entirely sure if that is the definition of insanity or stupidity.

Which puts me at odds with myself, I don’t think humans by nature are stupid; except for those not-so-rare occasions where I’m proven wrong.  In those incidents, I am forced into two situations I’m not a fan of.  I do find both very effective at handling the circumstance perfectly.  In one scenario, I simply nod at the offending person and back away, very slowly.  I would like to add that this also works beautifully for crazy people, although having a cookie in your arsenal is to your added benefit.  The other method is slightly trickier and harder to pull off as it requires lightning fast reflexes and some experience with parkour; but hey, if you’re into that sort of thing, more power to you.

I leave you with these haphazard meanderings and self muses.   Enjoy!