C'est la Vie...

If you could imagine writers block as something tangible, it would have to be insurmountable.  You wouldn’t be able to reach destinations, known or otherwise, because the vastness would be unsurpassable.  It would have to be the largest road impediment to prevent any kind of communication or travel.  It is almost as if the work on this crucially essential infra-structure will never be completed, they will be forever altering the course of this passage.

Life has a funny way of reminding us that life does go on, regardless of all the things it tosses in our path.  People, I must say, are conceivably the most substantial of all the things it can toss at us, as they’re unpredictable.  You have no way of knowing what people are going to bring into, or take out of, your life.  There’s no real way to gauge the cause and effect of both events, as your life will be forever changed by simple random acts. 

Over the last few weeks, I have to say that I’ve gained and lost a lot; I couldn’t even begin to describe or relay exactly who and what I’ve lost.  It would be easier to explain what I’ve gained, as it seems like I’ve gained a fountain of youth.  I have no delusions of grandiose, I’m not talking a literal fountain of youth, but I do refer to the fact that with what I’ve gained, I have an entirely new outlook on the way my life currently is.  I have found a reason to hope, have faith and believe in something other than myself. 

To those I’ve lost:  May you remember me as I do you; laughing at all the comedy, smiling at the simplest of joys and reveling in the company of a fellow friend and companion.  Thank you for the way(s) you’ve touched my life, the lessons I’ve learned won’t soon be forgotten.

The Question...

At one point or another, I think everyone asks themselves the very same question plaguing mankind since the very beginning of creation.  Within this question, there are many varying answers and degrees of honesty.  I don’t believe that the answer(s) found within this question are purely black and white, the shades of grey are so vast and varied it could be a reversed rainbow, of sorts.  I think, even if the world were devoid of color, the varying degrees of differences would still find a way to come shining through and become an obvious display of disarray.

Roll your tongues back into your mouths, boys, you rabble rousers!   I’m not talking about the “What kind of porn should we watch tonight?” question.  Though, I do think the argument between “tentacle” versus “midget” just might be valid.  How would you measure them up?  I mean, there are rather endearing qualities to both.   I’m just not sure which would pull a head, if one could really get a leg up; it’d be a tough spread. 

It always amazes me the depths of; well, I wouldn’t necessarily call it depravity but maybe self-depreciation or, in an extreme measure, sadism.   You can label it whatever you deem appropriate, however, the idealism is the same; the depths humanity will go for amusement and entertainment, for themselves or others, is unsurpassed by any other category.  I never understood the necessity to make oneself into a complete jackass, or worse, to achieve this very common goal.

What I am referring to is the question of what one really and truly wants.  Money?  Love?  Success?  Lust?  Fame?  Desire?  Family?  Boats?  Hoes?  Mansions?  I could continue the list, it’d take days or potentially longer to contain all the possible wants a person could have; it is as endless and limitless as this universe.  If you made a list today of what you perceive to want, in a year, would it be the same? What about 5 years?  Or even 10 years?  Do you think it’d alter, in some way, from the original?  If it did, does that mean you didn’t really want those things to begin with and they could, in fact, be considered superfluous?  And if that were the case, would that mean you knew what you really wanted; or would it merely be what you think you want?

The answer(s) are never easy to come by and rarely what one truly wishes to hear, but the answers are there.  I shall leave you to ponder this, as I will be pondering the same thing myself…

Randomness has stuck...

I don’t particularly find myself procrastinating on purpose, mind you.  I think it’s more on an unconscious level to put off the unknown.  I see this blog as a temporary experiment and I am unsure of the outcome.  I don’t really like putting my feet forward into what I consider to be quicksand, much like how I see this blog, as we all know; the harder you struggle in quicksand, the faster you sink.  I’m not fond of failures but I suppose this leads me back into the precipice you can’t succeed if you don’t try.  After all, isn’t success a failed failure?

It appears my ordinary life has taken to a change in direction; whether this is permanent or only temporary, I am unsure of at this juncture.   I have started in a new-ish direction and find myself meandering slowly down it, rather than running full sprint at it.  The proverbial dragging of one’s feet is done in more ways than one; ironic, isn’t it?  It’s not necessarily procrastination, just a put off of the inevitable.  The problem with things, not just the inevitable; is that they have a funny way of catching up to you when you least expect it, when you least want it and in ways you never even considered.

Life has a funny way of attaching its own ball and chain, although; in some cases, it might as well be a choker collar and a retracting leash.  I think life finds it amusing to let us run so far towards something we want, only to press a button to find us yanked backwards, and potentially, slam our asses to the ground while we lay there gasping for breath.  I can’t help but think that the amusement is endless because we are the definition of insanity; doing the same repetitious action and expecting different results.  However, I am not entirely sure if that is the definition of insanity or stupidity.

Which puts me at odds with myself, I don’t think humans by nature are stupid; except for those not-so-rare occasions where I’m proven wrong.  In those incidents, I am forced into two situations I’m not a fan of.  I do find both very effective at handling the circumstance perfectly.  In one scenario, I simply nod at the offending person and back away, very slowly.  I would like to add that this also works beautifully for crazy people, although having a cookie in your arsenal is to your added benefit.  The other method is slightly trickier and harder to pull off as it requires lightning fast reflexes and some experience with parkour; but hey, if you’re into that sort of thing, more power to you.

I leave you with these haphazard meanderings and self muses.   Enjoy!

The Opener...

Today began like any ordinary day, I suppose.  I woke to an empty day stretching out before me; nothing in mind to waste my time on, nothing to occupy my thoughts, nothing to inspire or incite any kind of reaction that would be noteworthy on any kind of level.  It is like any other day in my non-radar bleeping existence.  How very exciting, right?  It is the epiphany of any under-achiever out there roaming the world.  It was all going as planned; do nothing until necessity struck.  Or, at least, it was…

Enter, stage left, my rather obnoxious room-mate.  Conversations with him can range from amusing to exasperating to dull to annoying to irritating.  I, especially, love his money making rants.  He’s always got these ideas on how to make more money that take little to no effort on his part at all.  I do believe that any real money making scheme (whether real or fictional) takes a bit of time and effort, maybe some elbow grease as well.  However, that’s my opinion, which doesn’t seem to reach those deep recesses of his mind that only he has access to.

His newest idea of money making is to start blogging and have ads placed on it.  Granted; it is the hype of the internet right now.  Uninspired, do nothing, get nowhere nobodies are making money by having this idea to write blogs based on rants; fact, fiction, flights of fancy, just straight up bullshit; or, maybe somewhere smack dab in the middle of them all.  It’s like taking careful aim at a target and using buckshot; why not?  It’ll hit the target and everything else within a radius; just in case you miss, you still hit the damned target, somewhere.

The biggest issue I see with blogging is topics, or maybe, lack thereof.  I see everyone harping on the same topics over and over again, of course, putting their own spin on things.  Whatever happened to originality?  Has that been lost in the sea of monotonous reality of society?  Conform or be denied?  Ostracized?  It’s an interesting theory, really, the hive mentality of it all.   Shun the non-believer and some such shenanigans.  Where is the challenge in this?  I mean, there has to be more than one person bored with it all.

He has this weird belief that I might produce something of value; something that would get the attention of web-goers alike.  I wonder what savvy words this internet wise sage has to offer for the general populace to discover, inspect, dissect and digest?  I’m not sure, but I leave you with the expulsion that is here now.  Enjoy!

Today may have started like an ordinary day… but here you and I are… it did not end ordinarily.